Day 1: Divination. Harsh Lessons.

Today is the start of the 30 Day Magickal Roots challenge… I fully intend to stick to it properly this time!

I have an insanely bad habit of starting all these challenges then they dwindle off and I lose interest or forget to post for a day and give yup. I don’t intend to do that this time! Technically I think I was supposed to start August 1st, but I am impatient, oh well.

Alright! Here we go! Day 1: Divination… Use your favorite form of divination to ask “What should my focus be for this month?” Reflect on the themes of the reading. What speaks to you the most?

I used the Druid Craft Tarot deck for this, it is one of my favorites despite the cards being too big for me to actually shuffle properly, I have to resort to an awkward vertical shuffle that I can hardly do or mix them out over a table…

Ouch, that’s all I can say is ouch. I am, pardon my language, you’ll get used to it in time… I’m getting called the fuck out.

The first one is called The Fferyllt (revered)
I’ve been feeling restless and frustrated lately, I actually exactly know why… I’m frustrated to be away from my husband. I’m worried. Worried that the distance will tear is apart, that we won’t have time for each other anymore. I feel like communication has become stagnant. I’m worried that one of our love will wander. I think that’s my biggest fear as we get busier with lives. Urgh… Skeletons in the closet

The next one is Ten of Pentacles (reversed)
UGH… another call out… I’m turning away from my fears and worries between us, I know I am, I’m awful, not even bringing it up. I always try to sweep my concerns under the rug, I don’t want to create a scene about it, or appear too needy/clingy/demanding. I don’t want to be that guy. That one that their spouse complains about being too much of an attention whore… Yeah, that’s me… I’m struggling to make demands for Pagan Pride this year, struggling to make demands for my family. I know I am worried way too much about finances but at the same time, I spend recklessly. i care too much, yet I care too little to do anything… Financially and relationship wise, with my spouse and immediate family.

 

The last card I drew is The Lovers….
“Love requires surrender, and surrender requires choice.” That’s… wow. I’ve never seen that quote in

 

 

 

this little guidebook (yes I use the damn book sometimes, sue me.) At every moment in your waking life, you have choices: some simple, some profound. Through engaging these dilemmas, you develop maturity and depth of soul… Damn. I know what they are telling me. I need to work on communication with my husband and relationship. It’s not easy, I’m balking and tearing up as I write this, since I know it hit so hard to home. I know this is a ‘dilemma’ I need to face, but quite honestly, I’m not sure if even I have the strength to deal with it.

I got called the fuck out this month. It annoys me, but it’s something I need to hear. I don’t want to face it, but meh…