The past month or so has been complete and utter chaos all around. My grandparents arrived and stayed over for a few weeks, trying to balance in Pagan Pride, learning, spending time with my husband, keeping the household I reside in on it’s feet and mother over my sister.
The eclipse happened a few days ago, an almost total solar eclipse or us. It was spectacular to say the least. I wasn’t expecting such an intense, strong energy. Eclipses have happened before, I’ve just remained unaware and never paid attention to the energy they posses, this year I did. The eclipse also happened to be coupled with a new moon. Not only did i have the pause of the moon before it swells once more, but the brief darkness before the blinding, burning flash of new solar energy as the sun and moon are coupled as one. I felt energized and refreshed, however I felt tired and lethargic due to mercury retrograde st the same time… The influx of solar energy has been preventing me from sleeping lately I am far too sensitive to cosmic activity than I should be.
I feel like I am stuck, however. Between a rock and a hard place. I’m far behind people my age and younger. I see them all having kids, having prosperous careers and just getting far ahead in life. I feel so far behind. OK, well I got the married part down. I just do not have the energy or resources to get where I need and want to be. Sadly there is no university here so I cannot pursue my chosen career in teaching… Which utterly sucks.
Despite all that and my fight with depression, I would say life is actually pretty good. My love for my husband grows stronger an stronger each day…. Actually…
The eclipse reminded me of us, of our marriage. The sun an moon become one, their harmonious relationship unending, as cycles and circles do not end, they keep spinning and going. To be quite honest he is the only one keeping me sane at the moment.